Two Steps Back

Me, two weeks ago: "it's amazing how much you can get done when you're trying not to think."

Me, 10 days ago: "I can't move."

It's been a bit of a year so far and the upshot of all the death, disease and disaster has been a rather intense level of activity on the work front, because it is truly amazing how much you can get done when you're avoiding paying attention to the aforementioned death, disease and disaster. Not surprisingly, however, this resulted in the ever present neck, shoulder and elbow problem repeatedly warning me that I ought to stop, but just look at the list! I replied and when it insisted that it would probably be a good idea to slow down right now, I retorted with... well, I didn't so much retort, as ignore. So my body called me a bitch and made me sit still.

In retrospect, spending my vacation being in so much pain I couldn't think wasn't exactly what I’d planned.

I got a steroid shot last Monday, sat around and whimpered for days, not even being able to listen to an audio book, because for some reason (extended stress-related clenching of teeth), my jaw had gotten involved and the pressure of the earphones on the ear and jaw area made everything else scream and it was just adding insult to the basket injury. Then I got my Humira shot this Monday and the combination of steroids and Humira all of a sudden kicked me into tolerable. There was a literal demarcation of before and after and as ever, it awes me. I went from everything screaming to an hour after the Humira entering my body, not feeling the pain. That's not to say I didn't have any, but I'd built the filters up so high that they nicely muffled pain that was merely speaking loudly instead of screaming.

Which means I'm back to getting some things done - and the pain is subsequently getting louder - but I'm trying very hard (yet again) to learn my lesson, do everything in 30 minute intervals, strictly limit my time at the computer and take frequent rests. And subsequently, making feeble headway on The List. I'm also trying very hard to be OK with that.

Three guesses on how well I'm taking it.


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