A Request of the Universe

You know how when you stub your toe, somehow it becomes a magnet for impact? You haven't stubbed it for a couple years, but the moment you do, furniture starts leaping out at you and despite not having dropped anything in weeks, now you drop an apple and it lands on your toe and when you're in line at the bank, the person in front of you steps back right on - altogether now! - your toe. My neck and shoulders have been like that for well over five weeks now.

The thing gets injured - or rather, my old permanent whiplash injury gets highly aggravated - and I sit still so for a while, get a shot of steroids/lidocaine and get better. The week after that one of my attendants accidentally whacks her elbow on my head as she is helping me take off a sweater (this has never happened before in the 13 years I've received attendant care where I'm living now) and everything seizes up again. I sit still, get a shot of lidocaine, sit still so more, feel better and the week after that, something else happens and everything seizes up again, I sit still, I heal, I get a couple of shots of freezing, I sit still some more, I feel a little better. And so on. Every week, something happens to kick me back and every time, it gets a little worse. Last week, everything crapped out again and it got bad. Very bad. The kind of bad that meant it took me three days to do Monday's post. The muscles and tendons in my neck felt as if they were brittle, tearing apart at every movement and when I sat still, too, but since my head is still perched on top of my neck, I guess they didn’t.

I felt a little better Friday, but was still very careful and then for no reason whatsoever, Saturday, it started all over again. Okay, fine. It was a long weekend, so I decided to sit still, read a good book (American Gods - fantastic), spend some time in the park warming my bones in the sun (the forecast finally said we would have some) and watch TV. For this purpose, I rented a pile of DVDs, including Battlestar Galactica - Season 4.0 (which I had just discovered had been out for a while when I saw the notification that the second half of season 4 had been released last week). In addition, I had procured Season 3 of The Wire (which Beth got me addicted to) and I was all set to be really, really good to my body, stay far away from the computer and just get better.

Saturday, I run - OK, more like limp slowly - a few errands early in the afternoon, then head for the park. we've had a crappy, very rainy summer, one characterized by days of sunshine in the morning and the minute I finish the morning's work and want to head for the park with a book, it gets cloudy and starts raining. However! The nice people at Environment Canada are promising a long weekend characterized by beautiful sunshine and with temperatures up to 30C/86F (this is a big deal, as until this past weekend we've only had one day with more than 30C all summer). And can you see the foreshadowing?

Five minutes after I've parked myself on the grass, the clouds roll in, clearly intending to stick around and I go home. In the evening, I pop in the first disc of BSG, the image looks a little funny, there's a pop, no image on the screen and a burning smell… Okay, so the TV was well over eight years old and has served me well, but
the effin’ timing! (And no, I can't use my computer to watch DVDs – there’s something about the set up of my desk that means I get an instant pinched nerve in my shoulder when I try to watch a movie on my monitor).

Sunday, I call up Michele to have a good whine and she kindly offers to do the running around for me and get me a new TV on Monday. Excellent! On Sunday, I can stay away from the computer most of the day, the book is very good so it should be okay to just sit and read and look - brilliant blue sky with lots of sunshine and off I go to the park.

I have just settled down on the grass, drinking in the warmth with my eyes closed, feeling it enter my poor beleaguered shoulders and then it starts being not quite so warm and somewhat darker and I open my eyes, look up and see a massive patch of clouds above me. To the south, north, east and west, I can see bright blue sky, but over my neighborhood, there is a thick, grey cloud starting to spit on me a little.

It was at this point I began to take it personally.

So universe? Mind quitting it for a while?


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