I Wish I'd Done That

I have this thing I call a Life List. It contains all the things I want to do before I kick the bucket – not surprisingly, it’s an ever-evolving project.

On my list – or rather, my List – are languages I want to learn (Spanish, Zulu, Irish and more), things and places I want to see - the space shuttle lift off, the Grand Canyon, St. Lucia (because my father, who travelled all over the world, once told me it’s the most beautiful place he’d ever been), Uluru (because… well, duh), things I want to do – skydive (maybe next life), touch a tiger (some day, I’ll tell you how Ken managed that one and became forever Da Man in my book) and… well. I’d also like to get over the instinctive urge to curl up in a whimpering ball of panic every time I see an equation.

On the fantasy part of my List… wait, ‘fantasy’, you say? Being ever organized - and no, that’s not another way of saying anal-retentive - the List is divided into ‘feasible’ (see above) and ‘not gonna happen’. The latter contains the more impractical, nonsensical and… a-hem outré things that I’d love to do, but am too realistic - or cowardly - to believe will ever occur. Skydiving has moved over here. Having tea with people I admire (like Clint Eastwood, Nelson Mandela, John Cleese and the list goes on), which will not happened because not only do I not move in circles where this would be possible, I’d also become mute with shyness and make a complete fool of myself. Crash a party for Mikhail Baryshnikov (no, wait… already did that). Work with Jacques Cousteau, which unfortunately is now too late. Own a horse and ride it. Have enough money that I could donate a truly staggering sum to MSF. Go on a photo safari to Africa.

And dumping a box of lemon-scented detergent in a fountain.

Deep in my soul, I nurture a fervent wish to some day buy a box of detergent, find a really effective fountain, wait for a beautiful summer’s day, pour in the detergent and sit back to watch the bubbles flow. I have sort of a plan (and we shall not discuss what it says about me that I have an actual plan). It involves calling an official person in the City and discussing my funding of the clean-up. We shall also not discuss what it says about me that I am incapable of doing this without permission.

Clearly, I’m not the only one who has this dream.

What’s on your List?


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