Thursday, March 17, 2011

10 Years

   
Today it has been 10 years of life without my father and it is hard for all of us to understand it's been this long. I remember that St. Patrick's Day in 2001 with crystal clarity. Remember the call from the nursing home that said if I wanted to be there, I should come quick, remember hurrying through downtown streets surrounded by Saturday shoppers and fluffy flakes of snow, chanting pleasewaitpleasewaitpleasewait. Remember getting there and remember us holding my father, talking him over, telling him it was all right to go, remember feeling so honoured, so moved that he let us share the moment of his death. Remember understanding why it is called a passing, seeing that it is a journey and an active one from this life into something else.

Every year in March, in the weeks leading up to the date, our days are edged in sadness, in missing him more. And every year, we have a cry and then we spend some time talking about our life with him, celebrating who he was and always end up laughing, with tears and without, because my dad was a very funny man who loved having a good time. And that makes us smile about him choosing St. Patrick's Day to go, because he would be forever commemorated by a big, continent-wide party.

A few days ago, I got a card from Janne. She had gone through old photo albums, found pictures of dad and us in laughing times and sent copies and it was so beautiful a gift. Because there he was, laughing, clowning, dancing. Seeing him in these pictures made the crying easier and the laughing, too. And in the best of ways, we celebrate my father's life again.
  
   




   
   

9 comments:

Diane said...

So good to have some pictures of your Dad.  There aren't many of mine as he was the one behind the camera (a trick I've learned from him).  An odd little coincidence is that my Daddy passed away 10 years ago on May 21.  Like you, I'll never stop missing my Dad!

AlisonH said...

He looks like someone who, if you came into his presence, you would instantly know you had a friend.

Wren said...

What a handsome, lovely man he looked to be, Lene! And a proud Daddy, too. It's wonderful that you have such nice photos of him and that your memories include so much love and laughter. They can go a long way in making the ache of missing a loved one a little easier to bear. Hugs to you...

Squirrel said...

Wonderful pictures, Lene.  My dad passed away 11 years ago on the 22nd of this month.  I sometimes can't believe it's been so long.  Hope you're ok!

Marie said...

My father also passed away on March 17 (2000).  I wore black yesterday instead of green.  I'm glad your father decided to move to Canada, otherwise I might not be reading your blog in English.

Diana said...

What wonderful photos!!! Sunday is a memorial for my friend and second mother, Faye, who passed last Thursday. Per her wishes it is more a party than a funeral.
She always had a sly and husky laugh that defused many an argument. She could almost always see the absurdity of being so intense over small matters.

John Biggs said...

Lovely. I would add just one picture (although I'm sure you could think to add many, many more.)
Himself sitting, with that perfectly-satisfied-with-his-surroundings look on his face as he surveyed
the room - covered with Christmas bows.
I'm just glad to have caught a glimpse of him, and am still thrilled that we connected.

Anonymous said...

There is such so much abundant love in your family. I get all teary eyed just seeing the pictures.

karin mt said...

There is so much abundant love in your family...just looking at the pictures makes me all teary-eyed.