5 Lessons Learned While Sitting Still
The first thing I learned came on the very first day of my 2 weeks leave. And it was the sheer exuberant relief of knowing I had 2 weeks, 14 long days with no responsibilities, no to-do lists, nothing on my plate but to sit still and heal. In a comment on last Friday's post, Nairn called it giving over and that describes it in a nutshell. More than giving in, different than giving up, it was an almost literal handing over of the situation to someone else, something else. Who or what, I don't know, but the weight that was lifted off me made me feel so light I was almost floating.
The second thing I learned came on the third day of my two week leave. And it was the realization that now when I no longer force myself to focus, to concentrate through and around the pain, but instead let my mind and my body do what they need to do, I only have enough mental focus for a half hour conversation. Because I have no energy left, am probably in a decided overdraft in that department and whatever energy I do have, is used to cope with the pain and is used to heal. This not only means that I cannot multitask at all, but have also been rendered incapable of any conversation that requires a nimble mind or lasts longer than about 30 minutes.
The third thing I learned came on the fourth day of my two week leave. And it was that having a good night's sleep while dosed to the gills with muscle relaxants can mean getting up in morning without immediate high pain levels.
The fourth thing I learned also came on the fourth day of my two week leave. And it was that my desire to get things done will override any sense I may have accumulated and at the first sign of feeling better, the mental list came surging back. Which at the end of the day resulted in feeling wonderfully productive, but also getting kicked back several steps in the healing process.
The fifth thing I learned came on the fifth day of my two week leave. And it was the sheer exuberant relief of knowing I had one and a half weeks, 10 long days with no responsibilities, no to-do lists, nothing on my plate but sit still and heal. As well as processing a number of lessons.