Accident Prone

My toilet’s got it in for me.

About four years ago, I got in a fight with it and received a hairline fracture in my left knee as my reward. My left leg is the strong one – the workhorse leg around here. It takes most of my weight in transfers and is a rest for the other leg most of the day. That month of healing was fun.

Towards the end of last week, the whiplash thing was slowly healing and I was easing back into the swing of things, when things got “interesting” on Friday afternoon. While transferring to the can from my chair, my underpants hooked a hard plastic doohickey on the footrest and effectively slingshot (slingshooted? slingshat?) it into my left knee with some degree of force (thwacking might be an appropriate term). Followed by cold sweats, seeing stars and an urgent desire to lie down. As there was going to be horizontalness regardless, and rather swiftly at that, deciding to lie down made me feel all in control of things. Keeling over is so undignified. Thankgodfully, there was no cracking sensation and other than some swelling, bruising and loudness from pain receptors, I’m fine. Ish.

(it could be argued that I am unfairly accusing my toilet of involvement, but I know its nefarious nature and suspect it’s not above engaging in recruitment to get the job done)

Later that evening, I pulled something weird in my right shoulder, which meant breathing hurt for a few days. Good thing it was on the right – I have an (over)active imagination and could easily have persuaded myself I was having a heart attack when it radiated into my arm and jaw. What would make this happen, you ask? Guess. C’mon…. take a wild guess. No, wilder. Are you ready for it? Meditating so I could help my knee heal!

These may be the most ridiculous injuries I’ve ever had. Feel free to laugh. I know I will at some point in the future. Ok, I’m laughing already, but it’s still sort of a dark and hollow laugh...

With the rest of me compensating for various older injuries and these new ones, sitting still isn’t enough to heal and prevent further nastiness. I need the big guns. I need to sit Very Still for at least a week. Reading, watching movies/TV and minimal computer use. Therefore, this will temporarily turn into a photoblog, with words to hopefully reappear in a week or so (knocking wood frantically).